Sermon 2/8/04
Yes, You - Isaiah 6:1-8, Luke 5:1-11
(view lectionary notes for this text)
Sometimes, the lectionary provides us with scriptures that have such a clear message, such a clear relation to one another, that it leaves us pastors with little choice of what to say about them. That makes my job easier and harder: I know what direction to head, but it's hard to expand on texts that seem so clear already. Today's readings from Isaiah and Luke are about being called by God, and how we as humans tend to and ought to respond to God's call. We've heard it a million times, haven't we? Even as we're preparing for our spiritual gifts inventory after church today, we've heard about how we have different God-given skills and abilities. We've heard how we are all in ministry, even though not in ordained ministry. We've heard that God has a plan for each of our lives. We get it. Don't we?
Apparently, God is on to the fact that we really don't get it. Having heard it a million times has helped us little, as we still hesitate, still sit on our hands, still wait for some more clear sign of what we're supposed to be about. Somehow, we don't believe that God means us. We're sure someone else can take our place, and do a better job.
Isaiah and Simon Peter can relate. They both express their sense of unworthiness as soon as God calls them to do something. Isaiah, confronted by God and spooky-looking seraphim claims that he is a "man of unclean lips" and therefore unworthy to carry out the tasks God will require of him. Simon Peter, overwhelmed by Jesus' teaching and display of power through the catch of fish on the sea, asks Jesus to leave him alone, since he is a sinful man. They both feel overwhelmed with a sense of not being good enough to do God's work.
Perhaps sometimes you feel the same way. We are indeed sinful people. We are barely willing to give our time to God - perhaps on Sunday mornings, if nothing better is planned for that day. We definitely don't want to give too much of our money. We don't want to love people who are unlovable, who don't love us back. We don't like to get our hands dirty serving those who are poor, hungry, uneducated, or rough around the edges, but neither do we want to commit to actions that will enable people to rise out of their poverty, fill their hunger, or get training needed for jobs.
We know what we should be doing, but it's harder to actually get down to business. And part of the reason is not just that we're mean people, or hateful or neglectful. It's that we feel helpless to make changes. We feel unworthy to share our ideas or visions. We feel unskilled in leading big projects, or chairing committees. We assume there is someone better available to do the job, that we'd be in the way, or not good enough, or not thorough enough to do God's hard work anyway. We know a thing or two we might be good at, but we don't see how our talents translate into gifts from God. Or we don't really feel we're good at anything at all.
We are sinful, and very human, and so we feel very unworthy. Unfortunately the result is a catch-22 situation where we feel unworthy because of our own shortcomings and sins, and so we don't take action even though God is commanding us. Since we continue to ignore God's calling, we feel more unworthy, and more sinful for ignoring God's voice. It's hard to escape the cycle.
But we are not alone in our struggle. The Bible is filled with men and women who share our sense of unworthiness, and certainly take part in our sinfulness. Indeed, practically every time God calls a person to a task, God also has to struggle for agreement from that person, or overlook a long list of sins. God chose Paul, a famed persecuted of followers of Jesus, to spread the gospel to non-Jews. Moses insisted he wasn't a good public speaker, and God had to provide him with a speech-writer of sorts before Moses gave in to God's call. God chose David for a King, David who would commit adultery with another man's husband, and have the husband killed to cover up the crime. Jonah ran the opposite direction and was swallowed by a big fish rather than face God's call. God chose Jacob to father the 12 who would become the tribes of Israel, even though Jacob tricked his own twin out of his father's blessing. The list continues.
We're in good company, when we feel sinful and ill-equipped for God's work. In fact, we only need to look at the life of Peter for a good example. Peter started off with a sense of unworthiness, and doubted when Christ called him by the seaside in our text for today. But Peter did indeed lay down his nets and follow Jesus, after Jesus spoke to him the intriguing words that the fishermen would from now on be fishing for Peter. But that wasn't the end of the story. Peter had don step one: answered God's call. But now Peter had to live into it, as he sought to live as a disciple of Jesus Christ. And goodness knows Peter gives us many interesting and sometimes humorous stories in our gospels. In a few weeks we will here how Peter misunderstands the Transfiguration of Christ. We read, too, that Jesus had to rebuke Peter in one situation, when Peter tried to speak against Jesus' path of suffering. Even after three years together, when the final moment came, Peter abandoned Jesus to the cross and denied ever knowing him. Once the church was birthed after Christ's resurrection, Peter continued to get into squabbles with Paul, not wanting to share the good news with anyone except those in the house of Israel. And yet, on the other hand, it was Peter who identified Christ as the Messiah when others were calling him different names. It was Peter who Christ called "the Rock" on which the church would be built. It was Peter who first preached to the crowds on the day of Pentecost. It was Peter who dropped his life, and followed Jesus after this crazy day on the shore of the lake.
We are scared. We are sinful. We are in so many ways unworthy and unprepared for the life God would have us lead. And yet, we are loved. And yet, we are called. And yet, we are blessed beyond our counting. And yet, God will guide us if we're willing to become disciples. Just this week, I was chatting online with a friend who is considering going to seminary. She said, "I guess I don't trust myself for that." "For what?" I asked her. "I don't know. To believe that I'm divine enough to get a Masters of Divinity." She continued, "But then again, I guess it comes down to that whole God thing...I mean, how many people did God tell, "do this", who said, ". . . I'm not good enough."" If we believe that God created us, if we believe, as the psalmist did, that God has searched us and knows us, then we must believe that God knows all too well our sins and our failings. And yet we are called.
I shared with the United Methodist Men's group earlier this week my own story of call, how I came to this point of being a pastor - the struggles I had, but how God ultimately brought me here, to St. Paul's. One blessing in my life, which I shared some with the group, was that my mother was very careful to teach my brothers and me that we could do anything, and that whatever we did, we should see ourselves as doing ministry for God. She instilled in all of us a strong sense of vocation: a God-guided life path, and a strong sense that with God's love, we were made worthy, despite our personal shortcomings. I wish I could convey that same sense to you. Perhaps I'll have to let you all have a good talk with my mom!
Another thing I shared with the men was the fact that for the longest time, this, becoming a pastor, was the end point of where I could see God calling me. This was the destination I had agreed to journey to with God, this was the call I agreed to accept. Now, I have arrived - and I feel joy at where I've come. But I know I can't kid myself and rest content with my path. Now I must begin again to discern God's call. Now the path gets even harder, when I can't let my plans be made by a seminary course catalog, or a candidacy guidebook that tells me what to look for or what to do. Will I be willing to listen to God again? I hope I can be so bold, and if not bold, so secure in God's love of me that I'm willing to accept anyway, despite my fears.
God has come to the lakeshore, looking not for wealthy, or wise. Not for perfect, or confident. But God has come looking for disciples, looking for those who are willing to lay down their own precious plans, in order to follow Jesus. Yes, me. And yes, you. Amen.