6/13/99
The Voices in My Life -
Genesis 18:1-15, (21:1-7), Romans 5:1-8, Matthew 9:35-10:8, (9-23)
(view lectionary notes for this text)
When I first read through the scriptures suggested for this Sunday in the Christian year, I was at a loss for where to go. They seemed so unrelated, and disconnected, First we hear of Sarah, learning she will bear a son in her old age. Then we turn to the psalmist, giving thanks to God's active hand in his life. In the epistle from Paul, we hear the powerful truth of faith and grace. And finally, in the Gospel of Matthew, we hear the names of the 12 apostles, and listen to Jesus sending them out in mission. There I such a rich assortment here -- why are they grouped together? Where is God's message for us in these words?
Reading the verses again, one image emerged for me as a common thread between the stories: Voices. I noticed the voices of Sarah, the psalmist, of Paul, and of Christ. Their voices carry something to tell us, and as I share reflections on their voices, I would also like to share with you how I see the voices of God at work in my own life, calling me.
The story in Genesis is a good place to start in relations to my own life. God told Sarah she would bear a son, a gift to Abraham and herself. Looking back on the story, we rejoice with Sarah, recognizing her son as a gift, and a blessing. However, we must remember Sarah's voice in this story -- Sarah laughed at the news of her coming child, and if we think about it for a moment, this is hardly surprising. Sarah's age made her an unlikely person to carry a child. In fact, there were probably health and physical concerns in a pregnancy for Sarah. Sarah and Abraham were traveling through the desert, with no set place to stay. They were trying to follow God, but this sometimes put them in dangerous situations with people of other lands. Sarah's laughter probably reflected worry, doubt, fear, and anxiousness, as well as the surprise and delight of an expectant mother. Sarah was never unwilling to accept God's plan for her life. She was just unprepared for what God put before her, thinking herself the wrong candidate for that path, that life.
I can relate with Sarah easily when I think about God's calling in my own life. I, too, have tried to follow God, and though I've not found myself in deserts or foreign lands, I have been surprised at where God has led me. I think I first started listening for God's voice of direction in Junior High. Camp Aldersgate was my favorite place to be in the summer, and I looked forward to camping season as much as I looked forward to any other holiday season. When I returned home from camp, I always felt a deepened sense of God's role and work in my life, and I wanted this feeling to continue in my life even when I was away from camp. I tried to listen for God's voice, and found myself as a part of the Aldersgate staff that I had so looked up to when I was a camper. I enjoyed my summer there, and I decided God must be calling me into camping ministries. I was happy with this, and felt I would be doing my 'duty' by God, so to speak.
However, God kept speaking to me, urging me on, and I felt I had to keep looking. As Sarah traveled through the desert, you might say that I, too, was on a journey, searching for the right path. For Sarah, things seemed settled in her life for the first time -- she and Abraham had a covenant with God, and Abraham had a son by Haggar, named Ishmael, who was to be the father of a nation. Sarah was at a good place in her life, and when God told her she would bear a son, she responded by wondering that she should be given such pleasure, after an already long and fulfilling life. Like Sarah, I found myself in a good place with God. After some soul-searching, I decided that it wasn't the camping ministry that God called me to, but the youth ministry. I felt I had truly discovered my calling now. I searched for college programs with youth ministry programs. I attended workshops and seminars. I became involved myself as a youth at the local, district, and conference level. I truly thought I was at a good place in my life. God surprises us though, and remolds even our best-intended plans! Different voice in my life kept emerging, telling me that God had something else in store for me, but I wouldn't hear them yet. There was the frustrating voice of my college search, that just wouldn't show me a school I liked that also a had a youth ministries program. There were voices from the hundreds of other people I met at a seminar that explored the ordained ministry. There was the voice of Ohio Wesleyan University, a college that offered a unique Pre-Theology program. And there were the voices of loved ones, who asked straight out, "Have you ever considered ordained ministry?" I had to respond to these voices, like Sarah did: "Should I be in this role? Am I not already looking to serve God? Surely, this path cannot be meant for me." As God answered to Sarah, so God answers to me, and to all of us. "Is anything to wonderful for the Lord?"
And I am pleased to say that No, indeed, nothing is too wonderful for God. It took time, and work, but eventually I realized that God was calling me into ordained ministry, and that I needed to accept that call and begin to take steps in that direction. Here, I can relate another of the scriptures to my own story, turning back to the Gospel reading from Matthew. Jesus said to his disciples, "The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore ask the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into the harvest." In the next breath, Jesus then sends out those very disciples, telling them to proclaim the good news, to give out of what they had been given. We would all agree, I think, that God needs laborers to spread the message of love and grace. But are we ready to accept, as the disciples did, that we are those laborers? That Jesus commands us? Last summer, I participated in the Ministry Inquiry Process, with Pastor Art Miner of Delta UMC. The process is designed to explore ordained ministry as an option, and to help the participant discern God's voice of calling.
As I journaled, read, and prayed last summer, I heard God's voice calling me to be a laborer, to give out of all I have been given. Like the disciples, I was quick to understand that laborers were needed, but not as ready to be sent out myself. But God equips us and prepares us, as with the disciples, with all we need for ministry. The disciples were provided for in their journeys, by the people they met along the way. In my path to ordination thus far, I, too, have been provided for. From a wonderful education at Ohio Wesleyan, to chance to serve as the President of our campus Christian Student Leadership Council, from being assigned to a mentor - a retired pastor in Ohio, who guides me in my continuing inquiry into ordained ministry, to the opportunity to work here at my own church this summer. When God calls us, God does not fail to equip us too. From the voice of Paul in his letter to the Romans, we hear this: "Suffering produces endurance, endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God's love had been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us. Like Sarah suffered trials in the desert with Abraham, as the disciples and Paul suffered for the sake of Christ, we, too, suffer and struggle through the trials of life. But we must remember that suffering is followed with hope, because of the love of God and the work of the Holy Spirit.
When I came to this church as an eleven year old, I felt I was suffering, because I had been forced to change churches, and I didn't want to leave the friends and family and place of worship that I loved. I couldn't see then the path God had in store for me -- I couldn't see ordained ministry as a possibility. But I could hear the voice of loved ones, asking me to give it a chance. And I am so thankful to be where I am today. God asks us to listen for the voices of hope and promise, the voices that call us down a new path -- a hard path, but a path that leads to Christ and eternal life. As I prepare to head into my senior year at Ohio Wesleyan -- to visit seminaries, to take another step towards ordination -- I hear the voice of the psalmist: "I love the Lord because the Lord has heard my voice…because the Lord has inclined an ear to me. Therefore I will call on the Lord as long as I live. What shall I return to the Lord for all the bounty to me? O Lord, I am your servant." We, the children of God, are also the servants, listening for God's voice, ready to follow the path God sets before us.
Please pray with me silently, as we listen for God's voice: (COUNT TO 15!!!) God, you speak to us all, and you have a ministry for each of us. Help us to be good listeners, so that we might be attentive to the voices of the Holy Spirit in our life. Amen.
Response: Jesus said that the harvest is great, but that laborers are still needed. As a Christian, you are asked to be a laborer for Christ. What is the voice of God calling you to do?
Benediction: Go now, as a people of many voices, calling on the name of God. Go now, as listening ones, open to God's calling on the people. Go now, and be ministers of the good news. (Amen.)